Mr Ray:一场紧闭的聚会 A Shuttered Party

By , 2012年 7月 11日

read English article

第一次看Mr Ray是在2011年四月的旁边儿演出上,可以说那是一次在漫长的等待中久违的惊喜。这种惊喜不能以简单的好与不好去诠释,只能说,隐藏在旋律背后的是一张巨大的网,网里藏匿着莫名吸引我的东西,音乐的情绪颇具感染力。

在那一刻,对于一个新乐队来说,用这样的音乐撑起这样的气场,就已经足够了。

羞涩,阴郁,冗长的纠结,吉他手长了一张瘦削冷峻的后朋克脸。

在这之后一年多的时间里,几次打着采访为旗号的约见,都演变成了处女座式的跨时空拉家常,聊乐队,聊家事,聊梦境,聊一切纷繁琐碎的过往。更多的时候我愿意在他们此起彼伏的谦卑与沉默中体会那些隐藏在幽暗中的微小情绪。
此时此刻的我更加确信了自己当初的感觉,他们的音乐就是目前他们试图表达自己唯一的方式。

特写:


刘璐(吉他兼主唱)

“2011年2月组乐队之后,三月的一个星期三,第一次在D22的高校现场演,然后Michael介绍我们给朱文博。后来又认识了Josh(旁边儿网站创始人),之后四月他就帮我们安排了旁边儿的演出,在老WHAT。之后他和朱文博就频繁地给我们定演出。我们就是在大家这样的帮助下,在一次次的演出中成长起来的。我们当时觉得很惊讶,也很纳闷儿,觉得自己也没什么,音乐也挺烂的,不理解为什么大家都那么喜欢我们,给我们那么多的关注,真的是觉得受宠若惊,有相当长的一段时间,我们都觉得自己很尴尬。”

曲鑫(鼓手)

“我和刘璐在台上的时候都有种感觉,特别是演出前后,看着底下的人都聚在一起,一小撮一小撮的,聊天说笑,倍儿开心。我们真的不明白为什么,觉得不明白大家到底有什么可聊的,也是因为我们自己性格就是这样,不是不爱聊天,就是真觉得没什么可聊的。”

韩旻凯(贝斯手)

“我从来不和家里人聊我们的乐队,我们三个都是。至于创作想法,只是我自己一段时期的状态,延伸出的情绪,变成动机,然后在排练的时候努力把这个动机实现,当然多数时候还是因为不高兴。我们也确实没有什么其他特殊的爱好,像这样,每次排练或者出来玩,就是觉得三个人聚在一起郁闷一会儿挺好的。郁闷的原因很多,变成一首歌之后,郁闷就会过去。”

刘璐和韩旻凯都是处女座,女孩曲鑫是巨蟹座。不出所料,这必须是一个受阴性自我折磨星系所掌控的史上最敏感纠结体,顽固迂回式思维和众所周知的完美主义审美取向,使得内敛但犀利的处女座一不留神就倒在了深刻之中。瞬间头脑里浮现出了音乐史上伟大而纯洁忘我的处女座开拓者们:John Cage, Roger Waters, John Coltrane, Leonard Coen, Ray Charles, Michael Jackson, Nick Cave, Amy Winehouse. Jarvis Cocker……

他们会经常性地彼此意见相左,苛刻异常,但深沉的缄默和羞涩的惆怅,则会一直把他们紧紧地连在一起。
伴随着两座处女座大山的压迫,巨蟹座鼓手唏嘘道:“我相比于他们两个来说,当然更理想主义,想着满世界去当义工,有更多有趣的经历。去过新西兰帮人家农场干杂活,挺开心的,还想继续发掘这种机会。但大多数时候,这些漫无目的的长远打算最终还是被他们这两个现实顽固的处女座打消了。”

高中时代

三个人是中学同学,都是北京人。高中时曾经有组乐队的想法,但后来因为高考搁置了。韩旻凯的妈妈当时是中学的历史老师,三个人成绩一直都还不错。

“我们的高中是一个市重点,学习气氛一直都很紧张。”

刘璐是当时高中里唯一的一名美术高考生。学画画的时间很短,他说自己很喜欢画画,虽然初衷是为了考学。

聊到高中时代的音乐启蒙和高考过后的抉择,刘璐说:
“也是刚上高中时开始听这些东西的,特喜欢新裤子,后来又不喜欢了。韩旻凯(贝斯手)一直特别喜欢。初中的时候特别喜欢哥特,以泪洗面什么的,还有嘻哈,HIPHOP,后来也不喜欢了,也没什么原因,就一下觉得没劲了。现在一直喜欢的就是Joy Division。记得是高一,第一次在D22看Joyside,2008年。有点理解不了。后来看过重塑(重塑雕像的权利),看之前也完全不了解。不管怎么说,现在如果再回到那个时候,我们三个都不会去考大学,可能那个时候早就把乐队组起来了。”

Mr Ray

上了大学之后,和大多数人一样,失望大过期望。即便机会到处都有。

“大一的时候和一个学哥组过一个乐队,风格和Mr Ray差不多,后来他上班了没时间了就不做了,之后和他也没怎么联系,当然我们也没有留下任何录音。”(刘璐)

冥冥中在这个百无聊赖的间隙,三个人再次聚首,学校之间的路途遥远,他们什么都没想,只是觉得,是时候了。

刘璐:“我们一开始特讨厌这个名字,叫起来感觉特别不顺口,不太喜欢。当时三个人也没有什么统一的意见。有一天我就突然发现Suicide有一首歌就叫Mr Ray,听起来发音特别像Mystery这个词. 就觉得还行吧,当时也没别的想法了。有一段时间特别想改,但是现在慢慢演出多了,发现还是大家提起这个名字的机会更多,所以我们就顺其自然,也不想改了。”

与此同时,Mr Ray乐队确实是为数不多地在诞生初期就获得了多数燥眠夜乐手和乐迷的肯定。2011年频繁的演出使得他们倍感聒噪。在临近年底的时候,他们断然推掉了所有的演出,暂别当时的D22、老What和热力猫的舞台,潜心创作。

“我们觉得演出太多了,排练就是为了演出而排,挺盲目的,虽然后来一点点有了自信,也不觉得自己那么烂了,大家的关注对我们一直是一种激励,同时我们也知道,饱受过度的关注,对创作并不是一件好事,所以还是觉得是时候静下心来好好摸索,尽量排点新歌。”(刘璐)

2012年,随着后D22时代的光彩落幕,紧接着,备受瞩目的,将目光投向实验、即兴、噪音音乐创作的XP新音乐俱乐部在地安门悄然开张了。Mr Ray并不算是一个真正意义上的实验乐队,对于年轻乐队在实验和噪音上的尝试和摸索,刘璐诚实地说:

“我们还在高校现场演的时候,就特别想去燥眠夜演。觉得燥眠夜挺牛的,燥眠夜的乐队也都挺不错的。有一些比较实验,但属于我能接受的范畴。还去过一次小雷音。觉得那个地方挺酷的,但其实我不太喜欢纯噪音,而且我们的乐队也不是特别实验。当然,我们对实验有兴趣,但是起码目前为止,我们一直都没想过要做实验音乐。”

《鱼》是Mr Ray的一首主打歌,2012年被收录在《旁边儿在地下》选集里。

“因为我特别不爱吃鱼,有一次我爸做鱼,我就看着也不吃。但是偶然间我又看着被做好的鱼,摆在桌子上,恶心吧唧的,但是依旧好看。想象它曾经生活在特别脏的水里,吃特别脏的东西,最后我还要把它吃掉。我不知道该怎样去解释这种心情,觉得一切美好的事物最终都会被极速消解掉。”

林奇式梦魇

这是我和刘璐数次交谈中,我自己最喜欢的部分,他跟我聊他做过的一个梦。这是一个荒诞惊悚,但不失温暖的故事。我想说,对于没有听过他们乐队的人来说,或许可以拿来作为解读他们音乐的一个视觉参照。

“我睡了20多个小时,梦见自己在一个楼道里,看见一个漂亮的女护士抚摸一个赤裸上身的男人,很香艳,在摸到他肩膀的时候,她开始吃他的身体,,一点点地把他吃掉。我很害怕,撒腿就跑,然后跑着跑着,突然撞到一个老外,我顿时就觉得他长的特像Michael(兵马司厂牌创始人),他跟我说 ‘别怕,你跟我走’,走了一会儿那个老外就不见了。然后我看见了另外一个女孩,我当时就觉得我认识她,她是我的好朋友,她看见我之后就拉着我跑。女护士此时就拿着电锯在后面狂追我们。我和女孩躲了起来,’你别怕,她要进来,我就打她。’ 她说。

“护士拿着电锯追了进来,我突然发现她的脸瞬间变成了那个女孩的脸……

“我后来实在跑不动了,很奇怪,突然发现那个刚才和我在一起的女孩在远处等我。我走过去,她把一切都告诉了我:老外是一个德国人,年轻的时候没有儿女,也没结过婚,某一天他在家中柜子里发现一个女婴,就决定收养她,把她养大之后发现她是一个食人狂。但是他又不舍得抛弃她,就用自己的积蓄建了一个医院,用死人或者不治之症者喂养他的女儿。

“醒了之后我就把这个梦给记了下来。有一种说不出的兴奋,因为我很惊讶,梦的结尾居然还能给我一个这样明晰的解释。
大卫林奇的电影有些我一直都看不懂,但是觉得这个梦里感觉就跟电影里一模一样。”

对藏在虚无背后的未来说

今年的演出,Mr Ray的几首新歌依旧没有让人们失望。乐队新添置了一个合成器。据说还有一个小的玩具键盘和一个鼓机。但还没有在演出中试过。
他们也看似挣脱了腼腆的桎梏。刘璐的心态变了,是因为爱情的缘故。
他说,他现在正常了

“一一年那会儿不高兴,很大一部分是因为这个事情,和我女友的事一直没个结果,现在终于确定下来了,对我来说就是一剂良药,不过,我还是我,虽然心态积极了很多,但是我们的性格依旧习惯沉浸在一种日常的封闭当中。还是挺虚无的。你问我我也不知道,而且我肯定不会叫女朋友来看演出,就是觉得不太好吧,这么吵,她肯定不喜欢。挺讽刺的是,我的女友来了,韩旻凯(贝斯手)的女友却走了,他有一段时间一直特别低落,也正是这种低落,会更多的被渗透到音乐中去。就像我们之前说的,变成一首歌之后,郁闷就会过去。Mr Ray乐队就算是我们三个人平时最盛大的娱乐活动了,因为我们都太紧闭了。 ”

谈到乐队未来的打算,三个人还是希望一切能够顺其自然。
“没有想过乐队会存在多长时间,但是起码会录一张专辑出来。九月想在Josh(旁边儿创始人)那里发一张磁带。”

最后,我想以这个简短的问答作为结尾。算是给那些沉浸在Mr Ray音乐中的人们一个小小的惊喜,在他们阴郁、痉挛、冷峻的音乐背后,在他们私密而紧闭的聚会里,他们是三个在寂静中享受平庸,在平庸中体味荒诞,简简单单地活在音乐里的年轻人。

旁边儿:目前喜欢的北京乐队有哪些?
刘璐小红与小小红,特别是他们换风格了之后,吹万Snapline, 还有肥城(Fat City)。我觉得肥城带给人们一个截然不同的世界观。还特别喜欢小龙(闫玉龙)的小提琴独奏计划。我们三个都很喜欢洛杉矶乐队(Alpine Decline)。
曲鑫:现在挺喜欢路新配的。
韩旻凯吹万Snapline。但是我觉得上个月愚公现场,吹万比Snapline演的好。

旁边儿:如果找一个心目中的大牌来XP演出,你们会选谁?
刘璐:我特别想让那些流行大牌来,然后和燥眠夜的乐队一起演。像陈奕迅啊,周杰伦什么的。就应该让那种人在这演。这种荒诞的感觉挺好的。真要说乐队的话,我想Pere Ubu吧。
韩旻凯:Joy Division吧,如果死了也可以说的话。
曲鑫:找那种合成器的流行乐队来应该挺有意思的。

旁边儿:演出时对着装有什么考量?
刘璐:我以前挺喜欢琢磨穿衣服的,时尚什么的,现在就基本不想这个了。
曲鑫:我无所谓,自己平时穿什么,演出就穿什么,不会特别去想这个。
韩旻凯:我也无所谓吧,总之演出的时候反正别穿个大花裤衩,人字拖就行了。

旁边儿:平时最喜欢什么体育运动?
刘璐:打篮球吧,也不是特别痴迷,就是没事玩玩。我觉得燥眠夜应该搞一场篮球比赛。
韩旻凯:也是篮球,喜欢洛杉矶湖人。
曲鑫:喜欢看足球,特别是英超,支持利物浦。自己平时喜欢跑步。在学校,一周会跑两三次。

旁边儿:喜欢的电影和导演有哪些?
刘璐:科恩兄弟,一直觉得特别牛逼。喜欢那种荒诞喜剧的感觉。
韩旻凯:最近就看了《三个火枪手》,喜欢姜文的电影。
曲鑫:最近看了很多希区柯克的短片,特别喜欢。

Lulu Chow & Mr Ray 2012年于北京

Not in China? Watch on YouTube.

The first time I saw Mr Ray play was in April 2011, at a pangbianr show at What Bar. It was a real surprise after a long time of waiting for something new. It’s not easy to say that this kind of surprise is good or bad. I can only say, there is a giant net behind the melody, something hiding in the net that attracted me in some way. The emotion of their music had a universal infectiousness.

At that moment, for a new young band to use this music and build this atmosphere, it was enough.

Shy, gloomy, supernumerary tangles. The guitarist had a stern post-punk face.

From that moment to now, a year has passed. Several times I used an interview as an excuse to meet. Each time it turns into a Virgo-style casual chat spanning space-time, talking about bands, daily life, dreams, all the little pieces of life. For the most part, I like the tiny emotions hiding in their resilient humility and silence.

Since I’ve gotten to know them well, I’m much more sure of the feeling I had when I first saw them play. Their music is the only way they can express themselves.

Close-up:


Liu Lu (guitar/vocals)

“The band started in February 2011. One Wednesday in March, we played our first show at D-22‘s college night. Then Michael [Pettis, founder of D-22/Maybe Mars] introduced us to Zhu Wenbo [of Zoomin’ Night], then we met Josh [of pangbianr]. In April Josh arranged us a panbianr show at What Bar. After that, Zhu and Josh always booked shows for us.

We grew up little by little during shows, with people’s help. We felt quite shocked at the time. We couldn’t understand, because we felt we were nothing, our music was not good enough. I didn’t know why people liked us, gave us a lot of attention. We felt spoiled and embarrassed for a long time.”

Qu Xin (drums)

“Me and Liu Lu always feel weird when we’re on stage, seeing people gather together, so many little groups talking and laughing. They seem so happy. We really don’t know why, don’t understand what there is to talk about. Our personality is like this, not because we hate talking, we just feel there’s nothing to talk about.”

Han Minkai (bass)

“I never talk to my family about our band, all three of us are like this. Our idea of music, usually it’s just a condition and mood of a period of time, emotions coming from the mood, then during practice I try my best to make it come true. Of course most time the emotion comes from a bad mood. We don’t have any other hobbies like this. Every time we practice and hang out, we put this depression together, it’s a good thing. The reasons for this depression are a lot. When it becomes a song, the depression goes away. ”

Liu Lu and Han Minkai are Virgo boys, Qu Xin a Cancer girl. Of course, this is a recipe for hyper-sensitive entanglements, a deep universe of self-persecution, stubborn and tortuous minds plagued by perfectionism, a cosmos in which diffident but sharp Virgos can easily fall into the deep waters. Suddenly all the great and pure selfless Virgo pioneers come to my mind: John Cage, Roger Waters, John Coltrane, Leonard Cohen, Ray Charles, Michael Jackson, Nick Cave, Amy Winehouse, Jarvis Cocker……

These three always disagree with each other. They’re extremely strict, but deep silence and shy despondency will always keep them together.

Following the pressure of those two Virgo mountains, Cancer drummer sighs:

“Compared with them, I’m more idealistic. I always think about traveling the world as a volunteer, gaining more experience. I have been to New Zealand to volunteer on a farm. I just did chores, I felt really happy. I want to find more opportunities like this. But most of the time, these plans get knocked down by those two stubborn Virgos.”

High School

They were high school classmates, all from Beijing. They had the idea make a band together at that time, but it was set aside by final exam preparations. Han Minkai’s mother was their history teacher. They did well at school.

“Our high school is an important school, high-rated, so the feeling there is really strict and anxious.”

Liu Lu was the only kid in his class who planned to go to art school. He learned to sketch for a short time. He says he likes sketching and painting, even though the original intention was to get into college.

Liu Lu on high school, music initiation, and the difficult decision after the final exam:

“I started to listen to these kind of fun bands in high school, same as a lot of kids. I really liked New Pants at the time, but later I wasn’t really into it any more. In middle school I also liked Gothic music, like Lacrimosa, and also hip-hop music. But I eventually lost interest in all of them, only leaving Joy Division as my favorite until now.

“I remember when I was a freshman in high school I went to D-22 for the first time to see Joyside, that was in 2008. At the time I didn’t understand it at all. Then I watched Re-TROS. Before I saw them, I didn’t know them at all. If time went backwards and we could choose our life again, we three wouldn’t decide to go to college, maybe we’d already have a band together in high school.”

Mr Ray

After they got into college, same as anyone else: more disappointment than expectation. Even though you see opportunity everywhere.

Liu Lu: “During my freshman year of college, I started a band with a senior classmate. The style was a lot like Mr Ray, but we broke up really quickly because he graduated and was too busy with work. I haven’t really kept in touch with him. Of course we didn’t leave any recordings.”

Just at this bored and bummed time, three old friends gathered together again. Fuck the distance between their colleges, they didn’t even think about it. They just thought the timing was right.

Liu Lu: “At the beginning, we really hated this name [Mr Ray], it sounds terrible. But we didn’t have any other ideas. Then one day I listened to a song by Suicide called ‘Mr Ray’, [they way they said it] sounded like ‘mystery.’ Then I felt it was ok, and we didn’t think of anything else. Sometimes we really want to change the name, but now we’ve performed a lot, and people know our band name more than our personal names, and they seem to like it, so, we just decided we want to keep the name for now.”

Early on, Mr Ray got a lot of attention and praise from Zoomin Night musicians and fans among all the other young bands. Too many shows made them feel exhausted and frustrated. By the end of 2011, they cancelled all their shows, temporarily saying goodbye to D-22, What Bar and Hot Cat’s stages, and focused on music.

Liu Lu: “We felt we played too many shows. We were practicing only for shows, too aimless. Even though we got more confidence later, and we didn’t think we were that stupid anymore, people’s attention always encouraged us… but also we knew that too much attention is not good for focusing, so we thought it was time to chill out, focus on making new songs.”

In the dawn of the post-D-22 time, the new music club XP opened in May 2012, a brand new venue focusing on experimental, improvised, noise music. Mr Ray is not really an experimental band, but when we talk about more and more young bands starting to bring noise and experimental ideas to their music, Liu Lu says:

“When we played at [D-22’s] college night, we always wanted to play at Zoomin Night. We think Zoomin Night is so cool, and most Zoomin Night bands are brilliant. Some are pretty experimental, but in a way I can accept. I went to Raying Temple once, that was a cool spot, but actually I don’t really like harsh noise, and our band is not really experimental at all. Of course I’m interested in doing something experimental, but at least now, we don’t even think about making experimental music at all. ”

Fish

“Fish” is one of Mr Ray’s hits, included in the 2012 pangbianr underground b-sides comp:

Liu Lu: “Because I hate eating fish. Once my dad cooked fish, I was just staring at it, didn’t eat at all. But you know, all of a sudden, I saw it cooked on the table, so disgusting, but kind of pretty in a certain way. You can image it alive in the dirty water, eating dirt. At last I needed to eat it all. I don’t know how to explain this feeling, just a feeling that all the beautiful things in the world will all disappear in the end, and extremely quickly.”

Lynchian Dream

This is my favorite part among all the dialogue with Liu Lu. He told me about a dream he had. This is kind of a weird horror story, but full of warm feeling. For people who haven’t heard their music, this could be used as a visual reference to get a clearer sense of it.

Liu Lu: “I slept nearly 20 hours. I dreamed I was inside a building. I could see a pretty nurse touching a naked guy, really sexy. When she touched his shoulder, she started to eat his body, eventually eating all of him. I felt so scared, I started to run, and then an old foreign man stopped me. At first I thought he looked like Michael. He told me, ‘Don’t be afraid, it’s ok, follow me.’ And I followed him for a while, and he disappeared. Then another girl came out. I felt I knew her like she was my best friend. She grabbed me and ran with me, because the nurse was chasing us with a big saw! Me and the girl hid in a corner. ‘It’s ok, if she comes in, I will beat her up!’ she said.

“The nurse came to us, but I suddenly saw the nurse’s face turn into my friend’s face……. I started to run again, but so slow, I couldn’t run too far, it was super weird. The girl who was my friend was waiting for me down there. I walked to her and she told me everything: the old guy was German, he never had a wife or any kids of his own. 20 years ago he found a baby girl in the closet and decided to adopt her and raise her as his own daughter, but when she grew up, he found out she was a cannibal. He couldn’t abandon her, so he used all his money to build a hospital, using dead and incurable people to feed her.

“After I woke up, I wrote the dream down. I can’t tell you how excited I was, because I felt so surprised. In the end, it gave me a deep understanding that’s quite rare. I feel confused when I watch David Lynch’s movies, but the feeling of this dream was exactly the same.”

To the future, hide in the emptiness

This year, Mr Ray’s new songs still cheer people up. They got a new synthesizer, and they said they have another toy keyboard and a drum machine they want to use, but haven’t performed with yet.

It seems they’ve also broken through the shyness barricade. Liu Lu seems different, because he is in love.

He says he is normal now.

Liu Lu: “In 2011 I felt bad, mostly because of me and my girlfriend this thing. Now we’ve finally settled down. For me this is the best shot, but I’m still myself. Even though I feel more positive than before, my personality keeps me locked into a shuttered island. Still feels pretty empty. You ask me why, I don’t know why. Anyway I won’t ask my girlfriend to watch my show, I just feel it’s not right, too noisy, she won’t like it. And another thing which is really ironic, my girlfriend came, and Han Minkai’s girlfriend left him. He was really depressed for a long time. But we will put the depression into our music, like we said before. When it turns into music, the bad feeling will go away. Mr Ray, the band is the most important gathering in our daily life, because we are all too closed.”

When we talk about the band’s plans for the future, they all wish everything will go to the place it’s supposed to be.

Liu Lu: “We never think about how long the band is gonna last, but at least we will release an album. This September Josh will release a tape.”

Finally, I want to use a Q&A to end this article. As a little surprise for people who fall in love with Mr Ray. Behind their dark, cramped and cold music, inside their private shuttered party, they are three young kids who simply live in their music, enjoy the mediocrity from the silence, enjoy the absurdity from the mediocrity.

pangbianr: Which Beijing bands do you like ?

Liu Lu: Xiao Hong yu Xiao Xiao Hong, especially after they changed their style. And Chui Wan, Snapline, Fat City. I think Fat City gives people a different point of view of the world. Also really like Yan Yulong’s solo violin project. And we all really like the band from LA [Alpine Decline].

Qu Xin: Now I really like Luxinpei.

Han MinKai: Chui Wan and Snapline. But I think last month at [Snapline’s record release] show at Yugong Yishan, Chui Wan was better than Snapline.

pangbianr: If you could choose a famous band to come play at XP, who would it be?

Liu Lu: I really want some pop stars to come here and play with all the Zoomin Night bands, like Jay Chow, Eason Chan that kind. This weird feeling is good. Seriously of the bands I like, I would say Pere Ubu, I really wish they could come here.

Han Minkai: I think Joy Division, if dead people still count.

Qu Xin: I think inviting some synthesizer pop bands would be fun.

pangbianr: Do you think a lot about what you wear when you’re on stage?

Liu Lu: I used to think about that a lot, fashion shit, but not now.

Qu Xin: I don’t really care, I wear what I usually wear, I don’t want to take my time to think about it.

Han Minkai: Me neither, don’t really care, but anyway, I won’t wear things like flaring shorts or slippers.

pangbianr: What sports do you play ?

Liu Lu: Basketball, not really seriously, just for fun. I think Zoomin Night should organize a basketball game!

Han Minkai: Also basketball. I like the LA Lakers.

Qu Xin: I like watching soccer, especially Premier League. I support Liverpool. I like jogging at school, I jog at least three times a week.

pangbianr: What movies and directors do you like ?

Liu Lu: Coen brothers, so fucking good. I like that kind of deep bitter comedy style.

Han Minkai: Just watched The Three Musketeers. I like Jiang Wen’s movies.

Qu Xin: I just watched a lot of Hitchcock’s shorts, I really like those.

Lulu Chow & Mr Ray, June 2012, Beijing

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